Organized Chaos? - A Personal Narrative Essay
Organized Chaos?
There I was, sitting in a large room listening to one of the most terrifying speeches I have ever heard. It was the rules and regulations of how things will function during my stay. I remember thinking to myself, “How will I make it through this? These guys mean business. They are yelling!” “You will not do... If I catch you...!!” This was my introduction to the overnight summer camp experience. One day I would come to understand the true purpose of all of the drama, but for now, it would take a little getting used to.
Nowadays, after having served as a Counselor four times and a Head Counselor once, my recollection of my time as a camper and as a staff member is almost purely blissful. I looked forward to the summer every year. Getting away from home was a relief from chaos, and Camp felt like a safe haven where I could gather pleasant memories that would take me through the upcoming year. It all started, however, in the year 2005, on that first day, hearing my first “THREE, TWO, ONE.” (Calling out “Three two one” and raising a hand in the air was generally how the head staff got everyone to be quiet and pay attention. If done properly this was a very effective method. That would be the first of many.)
Camp Gan Israel [Also known as CGI,] located in upstate New York, had an average of about two hundred Campers per summer. Campers were placed in the youngest, oldest, or middle division based on their age. Each division had groups of 10-14 kids known as “Bunks.” Every Bunk usually had two Counselors assigned by the Head Staff to supervise, direct, and essentially act as parents for these kids for the duration of the summer.
The Head Staff basically ran the show. The only one above the HC’s [Head Counselors] was the Camp Director, who generally did not get involved in the small day to day activities. Even as a child, I had a decent sense of people. I remember examining with scrutiny all of the staff and head staff. I knew which of them knew what he was doing, and which did not. I sensed which ones genuinely cared about our wellbeing, and which ones could not care less. We once had an HC that was outright sadistic. His viciousness, rage, and methods of punishing just didn't add up. I remember once witnessing him hovering over a Camper who he made stand in a corner. With his face about two and a half inches away from the poor child he was yelling very loudly “why did you do it,” over and over again. The terrified kid was crying. I remember pausing about three feet behind this HC and being consumed with an urge to kick him in the butt, just so he would leave the frightened kid alone. I will never forget that incident.
When I was considering becoming a Counselor, I had a decent picture of how I wanted my bunk to operate. I wanted both my co-Counselor and myself to be present at all times, as opposed to taking turns or skipping certain activities. Choosing to reward and acknowledge good behavior over continuously responding to negative behavior was another fundamental attitude I hoped to abide by. Other details included teaching the kids how to make their beds and fold their clothes, creating fun exclusive, sometimes midnight, activities for our group, and playing guitar or telling a good story as the campers fell asleep. Many of these things were adapted from experiences that I had with Counselors that I respected and admired. I also kept in mind the things that I wanted to avoid. I did not want to be absent or sleeping in frequently. I would serve as a role model who led by example, rather than being a hypocrite whose actions did not reflect his words. I was not going to punish or abuse my power. Consequences would be given when necessary and would reflect the action, or lack thereof, that needed correction. For example, if a camper did not make his bed in the morning, he would be called in to do it while others were enjoying their free time.
In addition to the ideas I developed based on my own experience as a camper, I also reached out to one of my favorite teachers. I asked him if he had any suggestions about how to keep order, while also allowing for excitement and fun during the summer. He ended up developing a lengthy class for myself and a group of friends who were also planning on being Counselors. That was when I was first introduced to the seemingly contradictory concept of “Organized Chaos.” Rabbi Feldman explained that children need stability and structure. They do not like it when things get too unpredictable. At the same time though, and especially in the summer, children enjoy fun and excitement. In a certain sense, the more crazy and wild things get, the better. The solution to this paradox is to find the right balance. Have an evening where everyone goes nuts dancing to some crazy music being blasted in a language that nobody knows, while throwing popcorn at each other. This was made possible by staying within a timeframe, in a specific place, with the volume and choice of the music being monitored by a staff member. This concept was applied in many ways, and indeed enhanced many activities and outings throughout the summer.
My third summer as a counselor at CGI was unique in an odd sort of way. The Head Staff were clueless as to how to run the Camp. This year, the Camp just got unlucky. Two of them didn't know or care about how to do their job. One of them cared but was very confused about what and how things should be done. I found myself, as a senior counselor, advising and answering questions regularly. That summer, the director was involved significantly more than I have ever seen. The HC’s would sometimes sleep in, resulting in them having to adjust the schedule quite often, something that the kitchen staff hated to deal with. It took four times the regular amount of time it should take to get quiet, and the quiet usually did not last very long. The list went on and on.
One thing stood out that neither I nor the other counselors in my division were going to let slip by. Friday night and Saturday afternoon meals. From my first Friday in Camp, those meals were sacred and cherished. During those meals was when all two hundred of the campers together with their staff (Counselors, Learning Teachers, Life Guards, Waiters) would sing songs that were composed in Camp during past summers. There were the top five that everyone loved and were familiar with, and layers upon layers under that. It was customary that in between each song the Head Counselor would share a story containing a strong practical lesson.
These HC’s were never in this camp before. They went to other camps and their favorite songs were composed in other places. At first, they tried to push their stuff on us. It did not work. After two weeks, we were looking back and seeing meal after meal wasted on songs nobody knew, stories barely articulated clearly, and the loss of these golden opportunities right at our feet. It was not going to continue this way. By this time, we were close enough to our campers that we can ask them to defy the Head Staff and they would fearlessly be more than happy to oblige.
Friday night of the third weekend, the inevitable began to unfold. We started the first song before the Head Counselor got up to officially start the singing section of the meal. That occurs here and there, a group got excited and chose to start early. What followed, however, was the Head Counselors trying to stop the entire camp from singing their favorite melodies. One after the other, the oldest division would start and everyone else would follow. It was evident that this moment was long overdue and eagerly anticipated by the entire Camp. I remember the shame on the faces of the Head Counselors as they realized that these younger Counselors were leading a meal far more efficiently than they ever have. Nobody cared that the HC’s were standing with their hands in the air trying, to no avail, to get quiet and regain control. It was great. Things from then on did not look the same. We showed that they would need to work together with us, or they would be overpowered. This story resulted in the fact that when I chose to become HC in a different Camp, I made sure to come prepared.
Deriving from a total of nine years in Camp, witnessing the good, and the better, the foundation necessary for achieving a successful summer was clear. Order and organization are paramount. Not cruelty, rather proper structure and accountability on all levels. Once the rules are firmly established and enforced, everything that follows goes smoother. If the staff appear weak, particularly at the beginning of the summer, they will be taken advantage of. Kids really do see through it all. This is also why when discipline is cultivated properly and the right balance is attained, the memories of good times and friendships made, truly last forever. Every so often I get stopped in the street by a former camper excited to share positive accounts of joyous and meaningful moments shared.
Each summer as a counselor, I would prepare a speech and deliver it to my bunk on the first night. Similarly, as a Head Counselor, I spent lots of time composing and editing my opening speech. Soon enough, I found myself standing in front of a large group of anxious kids, echoing those same rules and regulations that I heard as a child of how things are going to be… Still, many years later, the safe haven is maintained, allowing for more blissful memories to be woven. Memories that will hopefully be cherished and shared for generations to come.